The idea of the soft life was once deep. It challenged hustle values and glorified suffering, especially among young people who grew up being told that stress was a badge of honour. But soft life said rest is not laziness, comfort is not a crime, and joy does not have to wait until retirement. It was meant to be healing.

Today, soft life is no longer just about choosing peace, it is about appearing peaceful. It is not enough to be okay, you must look okay and must look successful, calm, moisturised, and unbothered. And social media has become the stage where this performance plays out daily.

On Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok, life looks so soft. Videos and pictures of mornings and breakfasts in bed arriving on wooden trays, and captions speaking of God’s blessings. There are airport selfies with luxury backseats, and different trips not funded from personal pockets, carefully arranged pictures and performance that make even borrowed clothes and accessories look like old money.

Everyone seems to be winning effortlessly online, but offline, it is another story.

If you scroll for long, a quiet pressure creeps in. what comes to mind is: If your mates are living their best lives, what excuse do you have for struggling? If everyone else is booking flights, buying cars, starting businesses, and glowing up in “soft life”, why are you still trying to survive till month-end? The comparison is understated but endless, and it leaves many people feeling like failures in private while congratulating others in public.

Behind many soft-life posts are hard truths that never make it to the timeline. The vacations were funded by debt, the designer bags borrowed and the CEO title is for a business that has not made profit in months.

And the happy couple posting anniversary photos? Those ones are barely speaking, but they will never put out the details. The details are cropped out and hid under motivational captions.
Social media these days does not reward honesty; it rewards the vibe and look.

Read Also: When Parents Become Influencers: Children, Consent and Content in Nigeria

The pressure to look successful has become more intense in a country where economic realities are harsh and opportunities are not the same. When jobs are scarce and inflation is high, success becomes something to display instead of something to build slowly. Online validation takes the lead, likes become proof that you are doing well, even when your bank account tells a different story.

And, there are some sets of people, successful or not, who are not fans of showing off on Social-media. Once they show up with nice picture just to keep memories, billings rush in as direct messages, people expecting too much from them with the thought that they have made some money. That is how much people with fake soft life has influenced the public’s thoughts.

For some, this pressure turns dangerous. While for some self-acclaimed ‘soft-lifers’, they overspend to keep up appearances, saying yes to lifestyles their income cannot sustain. Others fall into quiet anxiety, feeling they are behind in life because their progress does not look attractive. There are those who abandon their dependable sources of living to chase trends that promise instant success, only to end up more lost than before.

However, the soft life was never meant to be a lie. Real softness is not always pretty. Sometimes it looks like staying home because you cannot afford to go out, and choosing not to feel ashamed about it. Sometimes it is logging off social media because comparison is taking away your peace. Sometimes it is admitting you are tired, confused, or still figuring things out. True softness is internal before it is external.

The most honest lives are the ones that are the least documented.

The question we should be asking is not who is living softly, but who is living truthfully. Are we building lives we actually enjoy, or just creating feeds that impress strangers?

There is nothing wrong with enjoying good things or sharing your wins, but when success becomes a show for the internet, it loses its meaning. A soft life built on lies eventually turns into pressure, debt, and burnout.

Maybe the real flex in this digital age is not looking successful, but being at peace with where you are whether or not it trends.