This loss of dialogue is visible everywhere in Nigeria today. A single post on social media is enough to spark a digital war. People respond not to understand, but to attack one another, because opinions are formed even before words are understood to be opinions or before facts are checked. Before people consider empathy, they would have rained insults.

A disagreement over governance, fuel subsidy, religion, gender issues, or even entertainment quickly becomes a battlefield of abuse. The louder the voice, the more it begins to seem or sound right. But people forget that noise is not the same as truth, and volume of the noise does not equal wisdom.

How public conversations now unfold is just as simple as a young person raising a concern about unemployment or hardship, and instead of listening, older generations respond with dismissive phrases like “we suffered more in our time” or “go and learn a skill.” When women speak about harassment or abuse, the first reaction is often interrogation rather than compassion. What were you wearing? Why were you there? Why did you wait so long to speak? And when religious differences come up, dialogue is replaced by suspicion and name-calling, as if listening is a betrayal of faith.

Even among families, listening is disappearing, with parents talking at their children and not with them. Couples speak to win arguments, not for resolution. Friends wait for their turn to reply instead of trying to understand the pain behind the words. People are often present in conversations, but absent in attention.

Social media has widened this crisis, as platforms reward outrage and as many reactions as possible, with calm voices buried under trending insults. Thoughtful opinions are overshadowed by dramatic perceptions. The system does not ask who is right but promotes who is loud, making listening feel slow, inconvenient, and unpopular in such an environment.

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However, the consequences are dangerous because a society that does not listen cannot settle rifts. When people feel unheard, frustration grows, frustration turns into anger. What about anger? It becomes physical or emotional violence when it is ignored.

Many of our national tensions continue to exist not because solutions are unavailable, but because listening is absent. We talk against one another using ethnic lines, religious divides, and political loyalties, and each side is convinced the other is the enemy.

People mistake listening to agreement, thinking that once they try to reason with the point being made by the other party, they are starting to agree with them. Listening does not mean agreement, it does not mean surrendering your values or beliefs. It simply means acknowledging another person’s point of view or complaint, it means pausing long enough to hear their pain, fear, or confusion before responding. It also means asking questions like why do you feel this way? What is your story? instead of declaring that others are wrong.

In a country with people of different languages, cultures and beliefs as Nigeria, listening is not what people have or enjoy, it is a necessity. Our history, our struggles, and our hopes demand more than noise. They demand honest, patient dialogue and sometimes uncomfortable conversations.

If we must disagree, argue, or speak, let us do so with dignity, understanding and let us first listen, because if we only shout, we will eventually lose our voice, but when we truly listen, then we can still find the way forward.

The post Noise Over Dialogue: Why Our Society is Losing the Art of Listening appeared first on Afinju FM.